frustration

alright. so i feel really gay for writing in this for some reason.. i donno. its just wierd that i can let all my thoughts out on this but not really to people..

i guess it is better said then done..

i sometimes dont even want to speak my mind anymore.. after all that rejection i had for saying how i feel.. 

spilling my heart to you.. telling you how i really feel.. and you didnt care..

ignore me... got mad..

i never said any of that stuff to hurt you.. or make you mad.. i said it becuas ei meant it.. and it was how i felt.. i was hurt. i was mad. i was pissed off.. and i needed to get my anger and frustrations out of me. you cant tell me that you have never said something bad.. or something you wish you could take back.

we have both made horrible mistakes. but its what makes us learn. and we grow from them. we learn what was right and what was wrong. yes we were both hurt along the way. but you know what. love is suppose to surpass everything..

all the ups and all the downs.. the highs and the lows.. 

when my parents were fighting.. you said they loved eachother to much to let anything happen..

okay maybe that is right..

but does that mean we didnt love? we loved eachother.. i loved you.. you loved me.. 

why did this happen then..

i never really understood the point of any situation like this.. 

if you love someone so much.. you shouldnt let that go.. even when times get hard. 

we made a promise to eachother.. 

and it hurts so much that it had to be broken..

after all this.. and this expierence of being hurt again.. it realy has showed me that i cant trust. i gave someone that trust.. and it was just thrown back into my face..

i gave someone my love.. but yet.. its gone.. 

or at least to him..

its amazing that after a month i am still talking about this

its fucking annoying i just want it all to go away i want everything to be okay.. i want to be able to have those amazing times again.. i waant to go to sleep happy.. knowing that i am safe.. and have that someone that will always be here for me.. i want to be able to know that you are there.. thinking of me.. missing me loving me.. i want to start over..

i want to know that it is possible =/

i have been around so much heartbreak in the past month it is uneblieveable. 

i have lost hope for everything.. everyone..

like honestly though can anyone be happy anymore?

is happy even possible?

it kills me to see people upset and going through what i have been going through.. it kills me.. cause iknow how bad it hurts. and i would NEVER want anyone to ever feel the way i have been.

:( forvevo and evo,

im not breaking my promise.